More Grosse Pointe Blank moments in my life:
There was a great moment when Martin Blank is working out how to introduce himself to his old classmates (“I’m a consultant” usually suffices). He asks his psychiatrist what he should say suggesting, “I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How’ve you been?” This kind of cropped up in my life last month.
I wasn’t in Paraguay, but it was a neighbouring country. It’s worth pointing out at this point that I don’t just kill people. There are many other facets to my job. Sometimes I’m a courier, hired to deliver a specific type of message. An employee of one of my clients had, shall we say, overstepped his job spec. I was asked to deliver the message that this was unacceptable.
I skewered his left hand with a fork. As I did it, I remembered that line from Grosse Pointe Blank and I actually laughed. The poor guy saw me laugh as I pushed the extra large, extra sharp fork through his hand and I must have looked seriously maniacal because he was far more scared than I was aiming for. He apologised in English, Spanish and bizarrely, German. It’s quite common down there, I’m told. I almost apologised back. Almost.
